Slender Man Chronicles

He only exists because you think of him
Try not to think of him

We cannot undo what we have wrought.

Published by The Slender Man under on 7:00 PM
We've discussed, at some length, the possible origins of the Slender Man. Whether he be a thought-form "Tulpa," an extra-dimensional entity summoned from the aether through various ritual practices, or something much more nefarious, remains to be seen. What has not changed, however, are some startling similarities between the Slender man and another of our favorite denizens of the outer realm...the Men in Black.

Abandon everything you know about M.I.B. courtesy of the films of the same name. Avoid making tin-foil hat jokes and comments about kooks and crackpots. The Men in Black have been terrorizing U.F.O. eyewitnesses for well nigh fifty years, and if we take into account a few M.I.B. sightings that involved "time slippage" (a concept I'm sure most of our readers are familiar with, but will be covered at greater length in future posts) we just might have to consider that an entity similar to the M.I.B. has been with humanity since it became important enough to murder for the sake of secrecy.

Coming hot on the heels of the U.F.O. wave of the early 1950's, the Men in Black are often associated with unidentified flying objects, but have also been reported (with greater and greater frequency) alongside such phenomenon as the Mothman, Bigfoot, and psychic phenomenon. The only uniform feature of these beings is their ability to horrify the folks they are interrogating, and while many of the M.I.B. claim to be interlocutors on behalf of some unnamed "Intelligence Agency," no evidence exists to support that they are indeed HUMAN, let alone representatives of any federal agency.

The most notable characteristic of the M.I.B. is, of course, their appearance. Dressed in somber black suits and narrow black ties, often with snap-brim fedoras to complete the effect, they appear as a sort of sinister Ward Cleaver. Often described by eyewitnesses as looking "Oriental" or, as one startled eyewitness in West Virginia claimed, "Not white, not at all. He looked like one of those National Geographic fellers." M.I.B. are also reported to speak in a "stilted or robotic cadence" and frequently use outmoded slang terms, as if they have time-slipped into out present tense in a moments notice and have been unable to adapt to our unique, modern vernacular. When not acting like the sinister ghouls they are, M.I.B., say Doug Moench, author and conspiracy researcher; "Can be quite bizarre, either excessively furtive or open to the point of ghastly grins and unsettling giggles." Numerous eyewitnesses have claimed that M.I.B. are often baffled by commonplace objects, including pens, eating utensils, and even food. (One M.I.B. was reportedly offered a bowl of jell-o by a "victim," the M.I.B. attempted to drink it, and when this failed, set the bowl aside and ignored it in obvious frustration.)

Occasionally, (and horrifyingly) M.I.B. have been known to escort their subjects to the sites of U.F.O. encounters. Their vehicles have been almost universally reported to be "showroom new" Cadillacs or other luxury vehicles, all of 1950's vintage...and quite a number of these unfortunates even reported, frighteningly, that the interior of the vehicles smell new.

But what do they want? Obviously, as is most widely reported, the M.I.B. appear when people have seen, or been too vocal about, U.F.O. sightings. This, however, is not the easiest explanation, as is often the case when dealing with extra-dimensional entities. Often, the M.I.B. will confiscate film, photographs, or other evidence that the witness may have collected, all while pretending to operate under the jurisdiction of some unnamed Federal Authority. This has been recorded with enough frequency that the C.I.A. has become involved. Freedom of information act files exist which document the C.I.A.'s attempt to locate these imposters, which was of special importance when the U.S.A.F. was conducting "Project Bluebook," as the M.I.B., whoever (or whatever) they were were essentially stealing what amounted to sensitive intelligence data. To date, none of these "Intelligence Officers" have ever been located.

But is that why they're really here? M.I.B. have been known to present themselves as rigid, oppressive de-bunkers (U.F.O.'s DO NOT EXIST!) and sometimes, pry for information from eyewitnesses, as if they are researchers trying desperately to prove the existence of U.F.O.'s. (You REALLY saw it? Flying saucers are REAL???) Most bizarrely, teams of M.I.B. often make take these two contradictory positions while interrogating the same subject, a sort of interstellar good cop/bad cop routine.

All of these anecdotes are easy enough to dismiss, right? It was, after all, the 1950's, the "Atomic Age." and people's imaginations were running wild. The M.I.B. sightings died down, and apparently became just another bizarre, frightening footnote in the annals of unexplained phenomenon. Right? Wrong.

Beginning in 1990, terrified parents reported being visited by "social workers," operating under the authority of various (but never named) child protection agencies, or carrying warrants issued by judges who did not exist. This was happening on a national scale, a problem so large that 23 (!) police agencies nationwide formed a task force to locate these attempted kidnappers. A database was developed, and a stark, mortifying fact was revealed. Nationwide, the parents all reported the "social workers" as being "somewhat asian looking, with an unknown accent, wearing an older suit and driving a vintage Cadillac." This is not a spook story, kids. This really happened.

So what do they want? Who are they? We've talked about thought-form Tulpas in a previous post, and if you are unfamiliar with this concept, I invite you to investigate this phenomenon at you leisure. Let's assume that the M.I.B., and by proxy, the Slender Man, are projections of the same energy. Let's say they are created within the realms of our most deeply rooted fears and brought to life by "feeding" them with our phobias. We can establish, then, that having created them, we would be responsible for their continued existence, right? Wrong. It is popularly accepted that once brought to life, Tulpas have their own will, and once invited into our realm (to them, an "alternate reality") they cannot be uninvited. Not to beat a dead horse, but as is oft repeated around here..."Try NOT thinking about him."

So, how did the M.I.B. phase-shift into the Slender Man? Who knows? But I posit this:
The M.I.B. was a master stroke of Tulpa generating, combining the most foul elements of cold War paranoia, Eisenhower era bureaucracy, social pressures to conform, and the faceless, cold efficiency of the nuclear age. We have, collectively, given the Tulpa an identity. An identity which is mutable, fluid, and subject to only one law: It must represent what we fear the most, and, furthermore, the things we fear the most without being able to articulate WHY.

The suit and tie is simply an effective element of the Slender Man's primary vocation: Terror. We see in him all things beyond our control, beyond our ability to comprehend. It could be any other costume, really. Consider the reports of M.I.B. who appeared in fashions decades out of date, or wearing clothes that wouldn't come into fashion for decades hence. These energies obviously lack a precise control of their ability to "relocate" between multi-verses, eras, or specific points in time. This is their only weakness. What draws them?

Us. And our inability to stop thinking about them, no matter how we try. Our horror of this energy, this thing that we have created, reaches out through the dimensions like a grotesque beacon. And we cannot undo it. In fact, every time you nervously slide a finger between the blinds late at night, hoping for a glimpse, just a glimpse, mind you, lest our primal terror overwhelm us, we add to the Slender Mans arsenal of disguise, and provide him with a new tactic for inching closer, night by night, nightmare by nightmare, down through the ages and across the aether, relentless. Relentless.


Maddie said... @ May 12, 2010 at 11:27 AM

I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight..... OoO

Anonymous said... @ July 11, 2010 at 3:49 AM

i'm going with you on this one, maddie.


nate said... @ July 31, 2012 at 2:04 PM

oh my god, the part with the "social workers" coming with warrants, that reminds me of a dream i had, except the "social worker" Was clearly a creator from another world, and they wanted to take me, but i hid, and they left, and i saw them again another dream except i was passing by someone else house and it was happening to them

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